An Abusive Relationship

I have been in an abusive relationship for awhile now.

It all started about 10 years ago. When things wouldn’t go his way or he didn’t get exactly what he wanted exactly when he wanted it – there would be kicks, hits and depending on the outrage of the situation his hands have reached around my neck in strangulation.

Head butting looked a lot different and hurt a lot less 10 years ago. Sometimes things are what they seem, sometimes they are not. When it comes to looking at my family in a photo, things are definitely not what they appear to be.

There is no escape, there is no getting out of THIS RELATIONSHIP no matter how abusive it may get. I am committed to working through his behaviors and working towards improvement. Some days feel like we have big break throughs and other days feel like complete disasters.


My son Nicholas has severe autism and he can become aggressive at times. Hair pulling and head butting are his favorite go to moves at the moment. This usually happens in response to being told the word No. He doesn’t realize that he is hurting me, as those with Autism lack empathy.

Nobody was injured in the following video. Only a hairbrush was thrown on the floor.

Screaming Tantrum & Calm Down

What caused this screaming tantrum? He wanted to go in the pool and didn’t like being told to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth first. It is hard to “catch tantrums” on video, my apologies for the way I held the camera in the beginning, but I never want to upset him. You can hear in the beginning and tell I was holding the phone down, so he would not grab it or become further upset.

He is good, non-agressive 98 percent of the time. The 2% though – sometimes that 2% can get you!

In these moments I remind myself to be patient. Remind myself that his life is tougher than mine. I didn’t ask for this, but neither did he and he is the one living Autism 24/7.

3 thoughts on “An Abusive Relationship

  1. Val you are such an amazingly strong mom. I can’t imagine doing what you do day in and day out. Nicolas is lucky to have you as his mommy, teacher, guardian, angel, protector…. I can go on and on. I hope this website helps people who don’t have or no anyone who has autistic children really learn something from this. Too many times people are so quick to judge about something they know nothing about. Keep it up Val I admire, love and support you always.

    Liked by 1 person

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